Monday, April 20, 2009

Why I could live in the US (Final)


A friend from Austin invited me over to have breakfast together. We went to a typical American diner. I ordered short stack blueberry pancakes. The waiter asked whether I wanted french fries with it or mashed potatoes with cheese. I was surprised to have these options. My friend ordered a taco-dish (complete, with rice and beans at 8 a.m.!). I haven't seen this happening in my entire life in The Netherlands, where everybody eats only two wheat sandwiches with peanutbutter, cheese or jelly. If you order something else in the morning or during lunch, it is obvious that you are coming from 'somewhere else'. Because I remember my Dutch friend looking very surprised when I told her that sometimes my mother baked potatoes for us in the weekend for breakfast. It was delicious..Americans understand that..

The climate

Millions of migrants in Europe come from warm sea-climate countries. Most of them in The Netherlands, Belgium and France come from a mediterranean culture. When I started my magazine I defined this with the new term 'olive-oil culture'. This 'olive-oil' lifestyle is all about enjoying life to the full – through meals and friends, finding a balance between work and relaxation. It is the blue sky and sea, the typical cream coloured houses and the unfinished roads where most of the times traffic is a disorganized thing. Like in Turkey, also in America people live this way. Day by day.

The distance between the Turkish lifestyle and American lifestyle differs much less than with the European lifestyle. That I can tell for sure after living here for months.
We always talk about integration policies without really examining why some people feel right away at home and some do not. But everybody will agree with me that it is easier to adapt oneself to a new country where more similarities are than with no similarities at all. And of course, Europe can not change its climate and transform into an other lifestyle,that is not what I plead for. I only say that these psychological issues shouldn't be easily passed by.

Why I still feel home in the US (Part 5)


Social life in Turkey also shows much resemblance with the US. People like to come together with relatives or friends, without excluding anyone. ‘The more the merrier’ goes for both countries. When I am in Turkey and call a friend to make an appointment, he or she is always happy to invite me over for lunch or dinner, even if this means completely rescheduling their plans. And I can always join her with her other appointment. I haven't had so many invitations for parties in the Netherlands as I have now in America. I think this reflects a general understanding in both societies that people need each other and are dependent on one-another. I highly value this sense of community and was happy to discover that Americans have the same basic attitude as Turks.


Double standards

When visiting Turkey, I never understand how it is possible to find so many magazines with women in tiny bikinis in a country with so many Muslims. Not only tabloids but serious daily newspapers like Hurriyet and Milliyet as well are filled with photos that could be called ‘indecent’ from a religious perspective. And on closer look, you see many more examples in Turkey of phenomena that seem to be in flagrant contradiction with Islamic values. Two of the biggest 'billion dollar' artists are transsexuals, some famous artists are gay. Everybody knows this, but nobody talks about it. As if it’s not a serious issue, as long as it doesn’t happen in your own backyard.
I see this same hypocrisy in the US. It was quite a shock to me to realize that the US is in some aspects much less liberal than e.g. the Netherlands. During my classes in university I found that it is very difficult to talk about sex in public (which sometimes you have to do as an owner of a woman's magazine)– even if it’s in a learning environment – that I would have though judging the omnipresence of sexually loaded messages in the media. Although this is the county of pop stars like Madonna, Beyonce and Britney Spears, and soap series like Dallas and Sex and the City, sex is a no go area in discussions. Just like in Turkey, everyone knows what is happening, but rather not talks about it. What’s normal on television, in magazines and on billboards, is still a taboo in private life. Can you imagine how difficult the 'change' must be for a Turkish girl in her house where it is a taboo to talk about certain subjects which are seen as 'normal' in her Dutch surroundings as school, work or friendship?

Why I think US and Turkey have similarities (Part 4)


Turkey and the US both invest huge sums of money in their armies and have large numbers of recruits every year. In Turkey military service is compulsory, in the US it’s like a ‘voluntary’ obligation: when your country ‘needs you’ you join the army. On the other hand, the army gives good career perspectives. In contrast to European countries, being a soldier is something you are respected for and certainly not something to be ashamed of. As a result of this, the army has much more power than it has in Europe. Both in Turkey and in the US, the army directly or indirectly influences politics, economy and even everyday life. It is very normal to see soldiers walking to get their coffee in Starbucks, or to see them driving in a Turkish bus to go home.

Big Spenders

The Turkish attitude towards money very much resembles the American mentality of “keeping the money moving”. Turks love to spend money as much as Americans do, and just like them they know that when you don’t have enough money to fulfill your wishes, it’s much more gratifying to buy on credit than to cut your coat according to your cloth. I think Turks and Americans are the only people in the world who will go on vacation with borrowed money. A few years ago, when I saw advertisements in Turkish newspapers to encourage people to book a vacation trip on credit and pay for it in monthly installments, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. But here in America, I see the same thing happening. It is as though people’s wealth doesn’t depend on how much money they have, but on how much money they can borrow (although we all know where this ends…).
In many Western European countries it’s quite the opposite and most people have an aversion towards risk, to such extent that they’d rather spend their vacation bonus on “something useful” like a new kitchen or a bathroom. Or they’d even put it in a savings account “for a rainy day” instead of flying to the sun! Such cowards, those Europeans…
Another resemblance between the US and Turkey is that in both countries money makes the mans: the wealthier you are, the bigger your house, the more expensive your car, the more esteem you get. When you’re wealthy, you’ve got to show it instead of hiding it. And if you’re not so well off, you can always pretend – on credit! In Turkey and America rich people get respected. In Europe you'd better not show that you have money.

Why I still feel home in US (Part 3)


In Turkey every school week starts with a solemn ceremony: all the children assemble in the school’s courtyard to sing the national anthem. Sounds familiar? Then you can imagine how surprised I was when I accompany my ten-year-old son to the public elementary school in Austin. All children assemble in the school’s cafeteria to sing the national anthem, with their hand on their heart. After that, they also sing the anthem of the state of Texas, again with their hand on their heart. In the Netherlands, this would certainly be considered as an act of extreme nationalism. But for me it felt as though I had gone back to my school days in Turkey, thirty-four years back in time. And still, this was America, the year 2009!
In regard to the education of children, there are more resemblances between the US and Turkey. To give yet another striking example: in America, every school week begins with an act of good behavior, such as promise of honesty, integrity, and respect – exactly the same concepts as Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, founder of the Republic of Turkey, prescribed as the foundation of the moral education of Turkish children, which is taught still nowadays.

Fierce work-mentality

Americans are hard workers. They work at least nine hours a day, six days a week on average. In Turkey, the work-mentality is the comparable. When you have a job, you just work it, without nagging about ergonomics, interior climate or tight vacation schemes. Two weeks off a year is normal for both countries. Both in Turkey and the US I have seen office spaces that would incite workers from Europe to immediately run to their union. Somebody from Holland would go directly to complain about the health and safety situation. Tiny, humid workspaces that looked more like closets than office rooms. Still, the people who work here accept this without complaint. Why? Because if they don’t accept it, somebody else will – and get their job. The situation of working women in both countries is comparable as well. In the US as well as in Turkey working women work as hard as men. There’s hardly any room for part-time work, unlike in Europe, where women claim the right to work part-time, but still want the same opportunities as people working full-time.

Why I felt home in US (part 2)

America may be generally regarded as the Land of Opportunities, and that is something which it should be proud of. Turkey is also the land of 'self-made man' (Istanbul is rated fourth worldwide with his billionaires) and at this moment even Europeans without Turkish roots are moving to Turkey to try their luck. Why?
The tremendous opportunities offered by both countries originate, in my eyes, in unequalled flexibility. Both in Turkey and the US you can experience this in all aspects of everyday life. Take traffic, for instance. Since I moved to Austin, I’ve become a frequent bus traveler. To go to the University (where I teach) I can take two buses - 1L and 101 - which both have their own itinerary and stops. The 1L line stops right across the street from where I am teaching, bus 101 stops further down the block. Sometimes I take the wrong bus, but when I ask the 101 driver to make an extra stop so I can get off where I want, that’s never a problem. Neither is it a problem when I take my coffee on the bus – officially it’s not allowed to take drinks or food in public transport, but nobody seems to care! In Turkey, you can experience the same. During a bus trip you can just ask the driver to stop wherever you want to get out, even if it’s not an official bus stop. Just a small example, but it illustrates the flexibility – or rather adaptability – that opens the way to great opportunities. I experienced another example of this flexibility when I rented my apartment. I was allowed to move in the day that I got in Austin, instead of having to pay from the first day of the month. As soon as I had my furniture installed, I called Time Warner Cable to ask them to connect me to cable and internet. They responded immediately and put me on-line the day after I called – even though this was a Sunday!
All this might seem insignificant, but the difference with many other countries is striking. In the Netherlands, where I lived before coming to the US, rules are much more adhered to – without exceptions! – and almost everything has to go according to a predefined plan. This inflexibility inevitably has an effect on the general mentality of people, blocking the way for opportunities and closing peoples’ eyes instead of opening them.
As migrants come from a total different structure, they are 'shocked' with this totally organized sytem in the Western European countries. It takes much more time to 'switch the button'.

Why I felt at home in US

Although Turkey is many miles from America, you might be surprised to discover how many things these countries have in common and how Turks integrate better in America than in any other European country.
Since I have been working in Austin, Texas, I will give you ten reasons why Turks integrate better in the American society than in a Western European society. I'l explain why I immediately felt at home when I set foot on American soil.


For instance the importance of religion.

Around the world, especially in Europe, the role of religion is rapidly declining. In the three months I have been living in Austin (the most liberal city in Texas!) I have seen more churches than I’ve ever seen in the thirty years in the Netherlands! This alone speaks volumes about the importance of religion in American life. Just like in America, people in Turkey expect you to be religious. Turks are expected to be a good Muslim, just like Americans are expected to be a good Christian. Calling yourself an ‘atheist' , which is the preference of any intellectual in The Netherlands to be well-integrated, is not really a recommendation in most circles. Here in Texas, I experienced that people react the same and they have more respect for people with a religion other than their own then for people with no religion at all.

To be continued..