Two fingers

I was speechless. In fact, I still am. Did you hear about the Indian finger test? Well, hold on, it's horrifying and it really is as awful as it sounds. What is it? The finger test is a rape test used by doctors to determine if sexual intercourse is being practiced. The doctor inserts two fingers into a rape victim's vagina to verify the presence or absence of the hymen.

So, let's rewind.

It won't be easy, but try to imagine you have just been raped— already an awful experience to deal with. Terrified your family will condemn you, you go to the police. The police say they are not convinced about your statement or story. Neither does your family. They want to know whether you were raped because you 'asked for it', or you were 'chaste' enough and truly a victim of rape. To determine the validity of your story, they send you to the doctor. While you are still enduring the mental and physical anguish and humiliation of the rape, you have to take a seat in the gynaecologist chair and let a strange man, a doctor, insert two fingers in your vagina to check the 'purity' of your most intimate female part.

The results are only multiple choice: it can be "two fingers admitted”, “two fingers easily admitted”, or “two fingers not easily admitted". These results can be understood as "used to" or "not used to" sexual intercourse. Of course, the two fingers represent the thickness of the penis.

I don't know about you, but when I read about this I couldn't believe my eyes. It is outrageous and unacceptable. This 'examination' simply can't be medically accurate for several reasons:

1. There is no such thing as a hymen;
2. Each and every woman's vagaina is built different;
3. Each and every man is built differently too: small penises, long ones, thick, thin and so on and so forth.

So for an Indian girl, it's all about luck. Judgement is determined by the insertion of two fingers by a man (suppose female fingers are thinner) in the most intimate part of her body, which will judge her for the rest of her life. Where is this going?

Well, I am elated to know the Human Rights Watch is calling for a ban; and a lower court recently ruled this rape test should be stopped. But although the Indian government prohibits the test because of its immoral nature and some hospitals have banned the test, the doctors and, more importantly, the people in India still see value in it.

Which is where we end up once again in the never-ending circle in patriarchal societies. No one wants to deal with women complaining of sexual harassment. Instead of acknowledging it is happening, and educating doctors on how to deal with this huge issue, or offer women support, women, again, end up being a victim for the second time.

Now, tell me, if you were an Indian woman, would you tell anyone you were raped? I wouldn't.

Private life on the internet

This time I want to share an email of a friend of mine with her comment on the news of the suicide of a Rutgers University freshman killing himself after classmates used hidden camera to watch his sexual activity.

Here is my friend's reaction and I don't have anything to add:

So sad that people think its OK to blast someone's, especially another friend's, private life on the internet. I think all this "technology" and lack of privacy gives people the assumption that anything goes.
There's a huge lack of boundaries, oversharing, and basic respect for a friend.
Basic respect I would think any friend would have for another friend.
Or has all the technology driven, disconnected world we live in zapped people of basic, common respect? And knowing what is OK and not OK to share with others?
Did these two kids lack the ability to see that?
Or were they being malicious to a friend?
Or did they think this was a funny prank?
The article states these were good kids, yet they did not know when to draw the line.
It just makes me very sad..I think not only his parents, but we all should be in mourning.

Wall Street Journal

Dear editor,

As a European Muslim feminist who supports a tolerant and moderate Islam, I was really happy that the Wall Street Journal devoted so much space on its op-ed page to the question "What Is Moderate Islam?" The six "leading thinkers" were eloquent and provocative.
But seriously, WSJ, you couldn't find a single Muslim WOMAN to weigh in?
How ironic is it that ‘the West’ sometimes point at Islam and say how the religion subjugates women and yet here is a Western newspaper that completely ignores the female perspective on a very important issue. It's inexcusable especially considering that the WSJ has a former reporter who is very outspoken, Asra Nomani, a Muslim feminist.

She is not the only one who could have been included. The US counts so much more female Muslim thinkers, e.g. Irshad Manji, Mona Eltahawy, Daisy Khan, Laila Lalami and Nathalie Handal. If the West is going to criticize Islam for not being enlightened, they need to demonstrate a better example.

This article shows exactly where we are still at: the news is still being dominated by white Western males. And of course, if there had been enough female editors in the newsroom, and more preferably, multicultural diverse staff, the WSJ would not have made this gigantic mistake.

The subject of moderate Islam can’t be discussed without Muslim women thinkers. Emancipation is a huge part of the discussion if we want to create a post-patriarchal and a post-modern society in the Muslim world. Feminist standpoints, with fresh approaches to new interpretation of Islam, would have provided multi-dimensional and, above all, practical perspectives of contemporary Islam.

This article reflects the male-dominated power structure in the East and the West. This stereotyping cut both ways. It doesn't leave much for anything else. Shame on you.

Nathalie Handal

For the glossy INKT, a bimonthly Dutch magazine for 'everybody who loves to read' I interviewed the beautiful French/American poet, Nathalie Handal. Actually, the invitation for an iftar-dinner from the US Ambassador to The Netherlands inspired me.

It's a tradition that once a year, during the Ramadan, the American Ambassador organizes an iftar (a dinner). I love these rather 'informal' gatherings with people I know from several other networks. Religious, non-religious, secular friends and colleagues come to share that peaceful inner moment, that you only can experience while eating together. And this year, I was honored when I was asked for advice what to serve on the menu. Of course I suggested my lentl soup :-)

But there is another reason why this year's iftar is going to be even more special. Nathalie Handal is going to read her poems. I had heard her name several times before but never realized she would be mediterranean or Arab or even Muslim. Even though I had not met her, I strongly felt connected and she inspired me immediately. It was her intelligence, her artistic talent but most of all her 'accessibility'. I sent her an email and requested an interview. She responded immediately, warmly and with mutual respect. She had surfed to my Website and was looking forward to meet me.

I read about her, I read her poems and the questions came spontaneously.
The interview was great and the editor of INKT was super-enthusiastic. I hope that Nathalie’s work will become well-known in Holland and Belgium, that we can read her poems in Dutch soon.

But there is another thing I felt while I was doing this. In Dutch we have a saying 'in hart en nieren', translated: 'in your heart and kidneys'. It means that you are so devoted to something that it will be always there, stuck inside of you. Well, I felt that I am a true editor and realized again why I had started SEN Magazine. I want to show the infinite beauty and talent of mediterranean women. I will always be eager to get to know them better and spread their message when and where ever I can, which probably makes me also a true journalist: the urgent desire to report about people and their stories.

I am sure you will all love her. The interview tells about the person Nathalie, her background, her writing and her views about current issues. She is an interesting woman who really has something to say (which explains her numerous awards). And yes, she looks good on the cover of a magazine (and yes, in the end, I'll always be a magazine editor!)

Nathalie and I made a deal to have a drink together after the iftar; I promised that I would let her feel 'the energy of the city'(I warned her that The Hague isn't Paris, New York or Istanbul). But actually, it doesn't matter where we are, I am sure Nathalie and I will have a great time together: two cosmopolitan women from the Mediterranean discussing about all kinds of issues women face nowadays.

I'm looking forward to it and, of course, keep you posted! The interview with Nathalie Handal will be published in the October issue of INKT Magazine.

More information about Nathalie Handal is to be found on her website: http://www.nathaliehandal.com/

Pen and Sword

It was a surprise when I received an email from a friend that Forbes wrote a column about my magazine SEN. Of course I am honored, but moreso I am happy that our hard work for SEN, even after so many years, is being appreciated by leading journalists and magazines. Well, that's quite an impressive endorsement!

We have a long way to go, the emancipation of (muslim) women has just started yet. And probably you are not surprised when I tell you that my hands are itching..and that I have so many ideas.. All the responses on the article were very supportive, and almost similar. They all wish that some day SEN will find new backers, so we can be able to publish it internationally.

An English version of SEN, I think, would not be a luxurious thing to do in these times of turmoil between East and West, islamophobia, antisemitism and above all emancipation of the world.

Here is the article which was published by Forbes on July 26th.

Super healthy lentil soup made by chef Senay

My baby is sick..he really feels weak..I think he caught a virus, I'll make sure by tomorrow to find out, but first he needs a good rest, lots of mommy love and...my favorite medicine:

Lentil soup!

People tell me that I make the best lentil soup of the world..and this recipe I also shared with the popular tv-hosts Carlo & Irene when I was a guest cook in their tv-show Life 4 You. Here is the recipe (and let me remind you: this is a very good dish if your child doesn't want to eat vegetables..he will get so many vitamins with this SUPER HEALTHY soup:

Lentlsoup (for 12 big bowls)

300 gram of red lentls
3 spoons of sunflower oil
50 gram white rice
1 big carrot (250 gram)
4 small potatoes
1 big onion
3 pieces of garlic
chickenbouillon
1 lemon
1 can of tomato paste

Get a big soup pan.
Put it on low fire and add two spoons of oil.
Wash the carrot and cut it in small pieces. Add it in the pan.
Do the same with the potatoes, the onion and the garlic.
Add 3 liters of cooked water in it.
Turn the fire higher and add the washed lentils.
Add the rice.
Stir it really well and add the chickenbouillon (broth).
Add salt and pepper.
After the soup is cooking really well turn down the gas and let the soup cook for another fifteen minutes on low fire.
Don't forget to stir it now and then.
Add the can with the tomatopaste. Stir well.
Make the whole soup smooth with a mixer.
Serve the soup with a big slice of lemon.

Bon appetit!

Turkish women and the media

Did you know that:
• 15% of media managers are women, 85% are men
• 12% of columnists are women, 88% are men
• 11% of guests on political discussion programs on TV are women, 89% are men
• 18% of news sources are women, 82% are men
• 100% of "Page Three Girls" are women, 0% are men
• 0% of editors in chief are women, 100% are men.

A Dutch colleague of mine is asked to speak at the Womens Book Fair in Eskisehir, Turkey. She asked me whether I could update her about the Turkish media landscape and women’s participation in the media. I told her what I already knew from stories of my journalist friends and colleagues in Turkey. To be honest I didn’t have a real positive story for her. I told her how the media is still dominated by men and that we need a completely mentality change to increase women’s participation.

Let’s be honest: “Working in the media” has, for the most Turkish people, a negative connotation. It simply means that you are “exposing” yourself to the world, and the majority of Turkish families simply do not want their girls to be exposed to the world.
This counts not only for the jobs in front of the camera; it also applies for jobs behind the camera. Sometimes I can understand this, since “media" is an intangible concept. If you tell somebody you are a lawyer or a doctor or an engineer, everybody exactly knows what you mean, even they haven’t done it themselves. But since people associate “media” with “glamour,” “magic” and “power,” it’s something people find interesting but also scary and opaque.

What do you do, and how do you do it? For most women (particularly from patriarch and Islamic countries), it’s also less attractive because it requires one to work flexible hours. Media or journalism is not a 9-to-5 job. You have to be on standby constantly, and not every father/brother/husband (or mother!) accepts that — which is probably why you can’t find the equal number of male and female students from communication studies back on the newsroom floor. So that’s something we have to work on: the portrayal of jobs in the media. I can tell, after being there for more than 17 years myself, that it’s one of the, if not THE BEST job in the world.

Here are some statistics of Turkish women’s participation in the media, which are quite depressing since the numbers are significantly higher in European and American media.

30%: participation of Turkish women in the media.
20%: women in managerial positions
33%: women in decision making positions.
(of course the last two numbers apply to the 30% female participation)

Internet usage is more depressing, although its hopeful to know that there is an increasing trend:

In 2005 85% of Turkish women had never used a computer (against 69% of men). Ninety percent of women never used the Internet (male usage: 76%). In 2007: 76% of women never used a computer (58% of men) and 79% of Turkish women had never been on the Internet (against 61% of men).

We can be quite optimistic when we see that there is an increase over two years (there are no recent numbers for 2008 or 2009) but it depresses me when I talk to Turkish colleagues about this development.

From the 1990’s Turkey has known a huge expansion of TV broadcasters. The Internet explosion came worldwide at the end of the 90s. One could expect a huge explosion of employment in media, for both men and women, and because the communication schools are filled equally. So where does it go wrong?

Many Turkish media organizations like the Journalists Federations organize panels, conferences or programs for gender equality in the media — which is good. But they can’t do anything substantial when the government lacks the same commitment. There has to come some kind of action from the government, a series of quotas or a state allocation to fight for this issue. The position of women in the media can only change with their support. But since the reigning government has not any political aspirations as such, the problem will stay there. If the media sector stays in the same hands as now, I don’t forecast any improvements for the short term.


Source: Mediz, TC Basbakanlik Kadinin Statusu Genel Mudurlugu