Today was a very special day. It made me again realize where I get my inspiration from. People constantly ask me how I find the time for the things I do, in combination with the care of a child. Well, I can tell you that the best fuel for me is meeting other women. I love women. Yes I do. They insprire me so much. I like to look at them, listen to them, eat with them, dance with them. Sometimes I even think that I don't even need a man in my life. But please don't get me wrong, I am still in love with my fiance..
But back to today.. Filiz Odabas and Zeyno Baran..Both Turkish women living in Washington for almost their entire worklife. Filiz is the US executive director of the International Association of Human Values and director of Governmental Relations of Art of Living Foundation. I met her two years ago at a house of my girlfriend in Istanbul. Filiz invited me today for her monthly Middle Eastern Breakfast Club which they have at Four Seasons Hotel in Washington. It's a group of very distinctive, influential and diverse people with common interest in the development of the Middle Eastern Area. Filiz thought the group might be interested in what I have to say about mediterranean women. So, we had an interesting talk about the position of migrants in Europe, Iran, but also about the latest developments in China. And not to forget to mention: the breakfast was great! I had, again, my blueberry pancakes.
Afterwards Filiz took me to her office, which is the Art of Living Centre in Washington. They had recently renovated the former Italian embassy, in a tremendous old style four floor villa/mansion, probably dated from the thirties of the twentieth century. I love old buildings with wide marble halls, fireplaces, high ceilings and wooden parquet floors, It should be so nice to be meditating in such a fine place. While Filiz was guiding me through the building, I noticed, and that surprised me, there were very many young people attending these breathing- and yoga classes. Youngsters from America, middle and high-class (I could tell when seeing the Louis Vuitton suitcases in the dorms) were here together. It made me happy to see that youngsters were there in so much peace.. I have to admit that I was a little bit jealous of Filiz who is fortunate to work there every day..
Later, Filiz took me to lunch with a friend of hers, Zeyno Baran. Her name didn't sound strange to me, but I could not really remember where from. And then, when I saw her, I knew it. I had met her at the conference of the American Embassy. Zeyno works for the Hudson Institute, a renowned thinkthank in Washington, where she is the director of Eurasian Affairs. She started to talk about the two books she is writing on and while she was doing that I could see myself sitting there. We had similarities all over; our ambitions and our goals were almost exactly the same. She is a very independent thinker and is not afraid to tell her view. She takes initiatives and starts projects all over the world which make her travel much. But most of all she thinks about life. She thinks why she does things and how she can make a change. And she uses her position to make the change. I felt connected. Her latest project which she just ended is a book titled 'The other muslims'. About ten young muslims who were about to radicalize but decided not to. And that story is very fascinating. We know by know all the reasons and arguments why young muslims radicalize, but what made these people change their mind? I know I will be the first one to buy her book.
Thank you so much Filiz and Zeyno for this inspirational day!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Marisol
My dear dear readers,
Today I woke up and, as always the first thing I do (I know it's wrong, but I can't help it!) is look for my Blackberry. I am always happy to receive an email of a friend. This one was from my dearest friend Marisol. And I can't believe it myself when I say that you CAN be friends forever with somebody whom you have known only for seven months. Yes, you can!!!
And luckily, we have FACEBOOK!!! Wow, I want to say to the people who invented FACEBOOK: Thank you so much. This is a way I can keep my friends very near with me.
But back to my happiness when I receive an email. Marisol sent me an email on this sad morning and it made me very happy. That's why I want to share this with you. And of course, feel free to forward it. Thank you Marisol.
Besos,
Senay
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion, Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone and everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Remember, friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
Today I woke up and, as always the first thing I do (I know it's wrong, but I can't help it!) is look for my Blackberry. I am always happy to receive an email of a friend. This one was from my dearest friend Marisol. And I can't believe it myself when I say that you CAN be friends forever with somebody whom you have known only for seven months. Yes, you can!!!
And luckily, we have FACEBOOK!!! Wow, I want to say to the people who invented FACEBOOK: Thank you so much. This is a way I can keep my friends very near with me.
But back to my happiness when I receive an email. Marisol sent me an email on this sad morning and it made me very happy. That's why I want to share this with you. And of course, feel free to forward it. Thank you Marisol.
Besos,
Senay
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion, Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone and everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Remember, friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
First baby
When’s the best time to have a baby? It’s a question many women ask themselves, and to which they find a wide diversity of answers. American women have their first baby when they are 25 (a way much better compared to 1970 when the average age was 21.4 years!)
This 'aging', becoming an older mother, is a global movement. For instance in Europe the average age of women becoming for the first time a mother is higher: 29! Which makes me very mediocre, because I was 29 years old too when I gave birth to my son. Like my fellow-late-mothers, I had a lot of reasons to compete with my biological clock, but career (and financial reasons), finding the right partner and self-development were the most important reasons of my delay.
Still, many don't agree with that. I have had so many discussions with people saying that it's not healthy for women to have their first baby at that age (which is not true because also in the old days, women had babies when they were over forty!) And people telling me that babies are healthier if they are deliverde by women in their most fertile periods, which is when they are 23 years old. As if Britney Spears and Jessica Alba are better mothers than Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton?
For me 'being fertile' doesn't always mean 'capable' of becoming a mother. With my experience in life, and the self-esteem I built through these years, I think I am a good mother, at least I am trying to be.
Which is in my opinion the biggest difference between younger and older mothers: the young ones take it for granted that they just had a baby. It is all natural.. The older ones think about the steps in their lifes continuously and decide very conscious what they want.
In her book Ready professor Elizabeth Gregory* gave me the confirmation. I went to her lecture here at the University of Texas. One of the results of her book was that women 'who embrace later motherhood' are healthier and live longer. The biggest reason for that is of course that women who have their first baby at an older age, are higher educated, have better salaries and thus have better access to health care. We all know that their children will always profit from that.
*(Elizabeth Gregory is Professor of English and Director of the Women's Studies Program at the University of Houston. She blogs about modern motherhood and women's work on the Huffington Post and http://www.readymoms.com.
This 'aging', becoming an older mother, is a global movement. For instance in Europe the average age of women becoming for the first time a mother is higher: 29! Which makes me very mediocre, because I was 29 years old too when I gave birth to my son. Like my fellow-late-mothers, I had a lot of reasons to compete with my biological clock, but career (and financial reasons), finding the right partner and self-development were the most important reasons of my delay.
Still, many don't agree with that. I have had so many discussions with people saying that it's not healthy for women to have their first baby at that age (which is not true because also in the old days, women had babies when they were over forty!) And people telling me that babies are healthier if they are deliverde by women in their most fertile periods, which is when they are 23 years old. As if Britney Spears and Jessica Alba are better mothers than Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton?
For me 'being fertile' doesn't always mean 'capable' of becoming a mother. With my experience in life, and the self-esteem I built through these years, I think I am a good mother, at least I am trying to be.
Which is in my opinion the biggest difference between younger and older mothers: the young ones take it for granted that they just had a baby. It is all natural.. The older ones think about the steps in their lifes continuously and decide very conscious what they want.
In her book Ready professor Elizabeth Gregory* gave me the confirmation. I went to her lecture here at the University of Texas. One of the results of her book was that women 'who embrace later motherhood' are healthier and live longer. The biggest reason for that is of course that women who have their first baby at an older age, are higher educated, have better salaries and thus have better access to health care. We all know that their children will always profit from that.
*(Elizabeth Gregory is Professor of English and Director of the Women's Studies Program at the University of Houston. She blogs about modern motherhood and women's work on the Huffington Post and http://www.readymoms.com.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Michael Jackson
When I think of Michael Jackson
I think of my little sister Sonay.
She always sang his songs.
And danced on his music.
She was his fan.
Through her I got to know his music.
I remember her school calendar, with Michael Jackson on the cover.
Those days they were really popular.
And everybody bought the calendar with his favourite artist.
I was more a fan of Duran Duran.
As a teenager I was in love with Simon le Bon..
I wonder whether she still has her calendar.
She should be looking for it. Well, I would!
I talked to her on the phone today..
6000 miles away from each other
We were crying for a man we had never met.
He died a day before her own birthday
It hurt her, and she couldn't enjoy her party.
Today, with his memorial in LA, she was hurt even more.
It was not only about Michael Jackson
Although he made beautiful songs.
You cheered, you laughed, you cried
You felt sad, you felt in love
All of this feelings you felt MORE with his songs.
That's why she cried I thought
Because he gave so much
Too much for a person to give in one life
Yes, she cried for Michael Jackson
But she was also crying for our mother.
My mother died young.
Michael Jackson died young.
'I don't cry for him' my sister said.
'I cry for his children. They will always miss him'.
Now I know why we were crying today.
We felt again our own pain.
I think of my little sister Sonay.
She always sang his songs.
And danced on his music.
She was his fan.
Through her I got to know his music.
I remember her school calendar, with Michael Jackson on the cover.
Those days they were really popular.
And everybody bought the calendar with his favourite artist.
I was more a fan of Duran Duran.
As a teenager I was in love with Simon le Bon..
I wonder whether she still has her calendar.
She should be looking for it. Well, I would!
I talked to her on the phone today..
6000 miles away from each other
We were crying for a man we had never met.
He died a day before her own birthday
It hurt her, and she couldn't enjoy her party.
Today, with his memorial in LA, she was hurt even more.
It was not only about Michael Jackson
Although he made beautiful songs.
You cheered, you laughed, you cried
You felt sad, you felt in love
All of this feelings you felt MORE with his songs.
That's why she cried I thought
Because he gave so much
Too much for a person to give in one life
Yes, she cried for Michael Jackson
But she was also crying for our mother.
My mother died young.
Michael Jackson died young.
'I don't cry for him' my sister said.
'I cry for his children. They will always miss him'.
Now I know why we were crying today.
We felt again our own pain.
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